Hi, My name is "T"

June 19, 2016

Hi my name is T. Most of you haven't missed me, but I have been gone for 18 years. I get to return to the outside world in 12 months, but can I be real for a moment. I am scared.  I am scared to death. So much has changed since I walked into a grocery store or a mall. Heck, when I left the free society you couldn't take pictures with your phones, texting was not the mode of communication and you didn't have the world at your fingertips inside a phone the size of a graham cracker. 

Since my disappearance, you probably didn't even realize I was gone, I lost my children to adoption including the little girl I gave birth to while I was here. They are now grown. I pray they are doing well. 

But that isn't the reason for my letter.  I am writing to tell you that I am sacred.  I am real scared. I do not want to fail.  I already know that the cards are stacked against me, even with the most positive attitude. 

For starters, while looking for employment I will have to overcome the inevitable question, "Where have you been for 18 years?"  

"Why don't you know how to use a cell phone."  

"Why can't you open a word document or a PDF?"

I already know I suffer from a lack of self-esteem and confidence. You may see a cocky woman, but I am a scared little girl inside who doesn't want to fail.  

I don't need your sympathy. I take full responsibility for my crime that created these consequences. 

What I am asking for is your authentic friendship.  

You know that friend who is there walking with you every step of the way.  

The friendships that says, "You know T, if you would say it like this or try over here, maybe you would be more successful," but then hold me accountable to do the action steps myself. 

What I don't need, or want, is your "excuse making" friendship. You know that so-called friendship that says "she's been locked up for so many years and she can't do this or that, or that friendship that allows me to make excuses for myself." 

If you can be that friend...I can't wait to meet you.